[ the feed is muffled a bit, seeing as she's tucked into the tightest corner of her room, but her voice is fairly clear because she's not-quite screaming it. it's not loud so much as frenzied, insistent; she's just woken up from a bad dream and there's a sob in her voice. fear? despair, and it's not entirely for her. ]
[ There are a lot of things Jayne doesn't expect to wake up to, and River calling him and sobbing is one of them. Still, he guesses he should start to expect it -- they're a three-person crew on this ship, the others crew but not from Serenity (not family, though he'll never admit to thinking that.) ]
[ she knows it. dreams are dreams are nightmares but she knows the differences, knows the line between here and there. jayne is there, jayne is serenity and she knows the difference between tranquility. knows. knew.
lost it, just now. she's lost and she needs to get back needs to get back ( back to where? back to which? ). ]
You're going to miss. Finger off the trigger, nerves and reflex and pop, goes the weasel. [ she laughs; it's a sob. ] Don't go in. Don't shoot.
[ the laugh this time carries, moving away from the device.
she leaves it there, on the floor in the corner of her room, to run barefoot through the ship. there's no rush but time isn't right and she doesn't know when is when, where is what. she just.
[ He's waiting for her, when she arrives -- barefoot, of course, and he shakes his head but doesn't say anything, simply moves away from the door and lets her in. The weapons are all tucked away, his pin-ups left on the wall because it turns out that putty the ship gave him to put them up is sticky and Jayne couldn't much be bothered. ]
Should've told you to bring my coat back, [ he grunts, settling back down on his bed. The rain stick is propped up against his dresser, hats taking up the space on top of it. ]
[ she walks in the moment there's room enough and immediately takes to looking around: at the ceilings first, the walls and the lines that connect them. up and away and not here - not until she stops in front of one of the posters and touches the image's lips. ]
It's not there anymore. It's buried.
[ ... under a bunch of other coats she's stolen borrowed. there is no back. it takes a second to register, frowning at the girl on his poster, before she looks over to him. ]
[ If Jayne were a man who spoke in metaphors, if his brain worked like hers did, maybe his answer would be yes. But he's not, and it doesn't, and so he simply shakes his head. ]
[ the frown stays and she drops her hand back to her side, fingers curled around nothing like maybe there's something missing here. river has delusions aplenty circling around her head, but none of them tell her that she and jayne will ever truly see eye to eye.
( most of them wonder why, why people can't see it when it's right in front of them. )
no point in chasing the white rabbit down a hole with no bottom. she crosses the room to curl up on the free bed, feet tucked beneath her and hugging her knees. they won't see eye to eye, but she can watch him. she can look for the pathway down. ]
[ He squints at her, watches her settle down on the bed. She looks cold, he supposes; guesses maybe she's talking about herself instead of him, but he doesn't know. Never really does, when it comes to River Tam.
Most people might say that he'd prefer it that way, when it comes down to it. But Jayne is sick of having to be the one that asks questions all the time. ]
[ her toes curl beneath her and she ducks her head, mumbling. ]
Not that kind of blanket.
[ but he wouldn't know that. no one would, no one but the voices that belong to no one and are hers. only hers. his confusion crawls under her skin and makes her shiver, curl into herself more and remember it's polite to share. ]
It's not right. It's not - I know it doesn't make sense, and sometimes it does, and sometimes the words are just nonsense. There's secrets and lies, puzzles that haven't been solved yet, but I'm not right and I don't want you to go.
[ that's not quite right either but she doesn't know what she's saying. she never knows what she's saying. ]
[ Because Jayne doesn't speak in metaphors, can try and pick them apart with River all he wants, but he'll never understand her as well as he'd like. (To make his life easier, he tells himself, because Jayne's always lied if he thinks it'll get him ahead.) ]
I ain't goin' nowhere. You just settle down. [ There's a shift, almost awkward. ] My Ma always said that you ain't gonna make no sense if you're all strung up on emotions anyhow.
[ everyone's favourite puppet. except for serenity. she pushes her toes against the fabric of the sheets for another moment of hesitation before deciding; deciding to let go. ]
So, there was this guy, an' he needed to buy some new shoes. Bein' all smart-like, he measured his feet before headin' out to the shop. O' course, it was a bit away, an' he had to walk there -- an' when he got there, he realized that he left the measurements at home. So he told the shopkeeper he'd be back, an' ran all the way back home -- messin' up the shoes he already had, no doubt. Then he ran all the way back, messin' up 'em even more, only to see that the shop was already closed. He did all that for nothin', couldn't get no shoes that day. So he was sittin' there all plumb tuckered out an' angry 'cause he did all the measurin' and such, and someone came on by and asked why he was all upset. He told 'em, and they asked if he was buyin' shoes for himself or for someone else. He said himself, an' they asked why he didn't just try the shoes on.
[ Pause. ]
My Ma'd say this said that it ain't always smarts that get ya by. Just 'cause you can do fancy figurin' don't mean you're always usin' your head. Sometimes you just gotta use sense.
[ She'd usually tell him this story after he would be picked on for being bad at schooling, but Jayne doesn't say that, only half-remembers it as it is. ]
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voice »
[ she wants to ride a dinosaur ]
voice »
[ That is the worst deal do you know what fresh food is worth where he's from Faith? ]
voice »
[ HONESTLY NO ]
[ voice ]
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
[ it might just be for everyone. ]
[ voice ]
Hey, calm down girl. Nobody's shootin'.
[ voice ]
[ she knows it. dreams are dreams are nightmares but she knows the differences, knows the line between here and there. jayne is there, jayne is serenity and she knows the difference between tranquility. knows. knew.
lost it, just now. she's lost and she needs to get back needs to get back ( back to where? back to which? ). ]
You're going to miss. Finger off the trigger, nerves and reflex and pop, goes the weasel. [ she laughs; it's a sob. ] Don't go in. Don't shoot.
[ voice ]
[ There's a shuffling sound, Jayne awkwardly rubbing his neck before he adds: ]
You want to come here? Or me to come there? Then you can keep an eye on me, yeah?
[ voice ]
It's me. It's - you'll come for me. They'll tell you not to and you'll do it anyway, because it's the best option, safest option.
[ fact. she knows it, even if she doesn't know why. ]
It'll hurt. I'm sorry.
[ voice ]
[ It's the first time he's used her name in -- he doesn't know how long. ]
I'll be fine. I ain't gettin' killed for you, got it? You come on here now, then, if I can't go comin' to get you.
[ voice ]
she doesn't remember him ever saying her name. ]
... No guns?
[ voice ]
[ The knife too, and his three pin-up girls. ]
Got my rain stick an' cowboy hat, this past jump.
[ voice ]
Room is getting crowded.
[ she knows about the girls, jayne! another moment to scrub at her eyes, breathe in. breathe out. ]
I'll come. If there's room.
[ voice ]
There's room, girl. Hurry it up 'fore I go changin' my mind.
[ He's already starting to think he's just as crazy as she is for offering. ]
[ voice ]
she leaves it there, on the floor in the corner of her room, to run barefoot through the ship. there's no rush but time isn't right and she doesn't know when is when, where is what. she just.
she needs to return to serenity. ]
action;
Should've told you to bring my coat back, [ he grunts, settling back down on his bed. The rain stick is propped up against his dresser, hats taking up the space on top of it. ]
action;
It's not there anymore. It's buried.
[ ... under a bunch of other coats she's
stolenborrowed. there is no back. it takes a second to register, frowning at the girl on his poster, before she looks over to him. ]Are you cold?
action;
[ If Jayne were a man who spoke in metaphors, if his brain worked like hers did, maybe his answer would be yes. But he's not, and it doesn't, and so he simply shakes his head. ]
Nah, room temperature's not bad.
action;
( most of them wonder why, why people can't see it when it's right in front of them. )
no point in chasing the white rabbit down a hole with no bottom. she crosses the room to curl up on the free bed, feet tucked beneath her and hugging her knees. they won't see eye to eye, but she can watch him. she can look for the pathway down. ]
Should get a blanket.
Re: action;
Most people might say that he'd prefer it that way, when it comes down to it. But Jayne is sick of having to be the one that asks questions all the time. ]
There's blankets on the bed, girl.
no subject
Not that kind of blanket.
[ but he wouldn't know that. no one would, no one but the voices that belong to no one and are hers. only hers. his confusion crawls under her skin and makes her shiver, curl into herself more and remember it's polite to share. ]
It's not right. It's not - I know it doesn't make sense, and sometimes it does, and sometimes the words are just nonsense. There's secrets and lies, puzzles that haven't been solved yet, but I'm not right and I don't want you to go.
[ that's not quite right either but she doesn't know what she's saying. she never knows what she's saying. ]
We're all that's left. Dead men walking.
no subject
[ Because Jayne doesn't speak in metaphors, can try and pick them apart with River all he wants, but he'll never understand her as well as he'd like. (To make his life easier, he tells himself, because Jayne's always lied if he thinks it'll get him ahead.) ]
I ain't goin' nowhere. You just settle down. [ There's a shift, almost awkward. ] My Ma always said that you ain't gonna make no sense if you're all strung up on emotions anyhow.
no subject
[ everyone's favourite puppet. except for serenity. she pushes her toes against the fabric of the sheets for another moment of hesitation before deciding; deciding to let go. ]
Did she tell bedtime stories?
no subject
[ Jayne leans back a little more, arm behind his head. ]
Had lots of good ones. Some of 'em classic, some of 'em things she'd make up. Didn't your parents ever tell you some?
no subject
[ at two years old. when they had time. she watches him sprawl out and stays in place. ]
Do you remember any?
no subject
[ he's js. ]
Yeah, loads. You wanna hear one?
no subject
[ but she is kind of backwards, so it takes her a moment to remember: ]
Please.
no subject
[ It takes him a moment, but then he starts. ]
So, there was this guy, an' he needed to buy some new shoes. Bein' all smart-like, he measured his feet before headin' out to the shop. O' course, it was a bit away, an' he had to walk there -- an' when he got there, he realized that he left the measurements at home. So he told the shopkeeper he'd be back, an' ran all the way back home -- messin' up the shoes he already had, no doubt. Then he ran all the way back, messin' up 'em even more, only to see that the shop was already closed. He did all that for nothin', couldn't get no shoes that day. So he was sittin' there all plumb tuckered out an' angry 'cause he did all the measurin' and such, and someone came on by and asked why he was all upset. He told 'em, and they asked if he was buyin' shoes for himself or for someone else. He said himself, an' they asked why he didn't just try the shoes on.
[ Pause. ]
My Ma'd say this said that it ain't always smarts that get ya by. Just 'cause you can do fancy figurin' don't mean you're always usin' your head. Sometimes you just gotta use sense.
[ She'd usually tell him this story after he would be picked on for being bad at schooling, but Jayne doesn't say that, only half-remembers it as it is. ]
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